any
antinatilism
De-growth
...
alternative names: stupidito, idiocyi, idyiot, miseryi
IDC
...
The trash archive:
Scrapyard (pls remix these)
- make use of these even if there is no use to them pls
...
Life's a bad joke. But I guess at least someone finds it funny. So who cares? Nobody. Do your thing, no matter who opens their mouth.
...
Music just sounds better when there's something to run away from.
...
the official waste basket account.
any
antinatilism
De-growth
...
alternative names: stupidito, idiocyi, idyiot, miseryi
IDC
...
The trash archive: Scrapyard (pls remix these) - make use of these even if there is no use to them pls
...
Life's a bad joke. But I guess at least someone finds it funny. So who cares? Nobody. Do your thing, no matter who opens their mouth.
...
Music just sounds better when there's something to run away from.
...
the official waste basket account.
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Headache pattern change
My eye too
Maybe I'm actually fucked this time.
If the smallest amount of affection does THIS to me then maybe I actually AM borderline.
I'm sorry
I kinda thought I had femininity myself and often found myself really longing for it, but it's clear to me now that it's been a ruse. It's misinformed, male gaze femininity. Perhaps the shame I feel about it is justified. I can't say I saw you as people, only aesthetics and something objectified.
Yes my life does end then.
I've never had the opportunity to live as a kid. By the time I'm done with school it is over. I'm not young anymore. I thought I'd have the opportunity to live like it, but there was never anything to begin with. I spent highschool depressed. I can't get those years back.
Now it's too late to do the things I wanted to do. Not (just) because I won't have the time anymore, but because I strayed from the right path and there is no way back.
Ya know
Consent to life would be a cool thing to exist. Pity no one can sign it before they're pooped out into it.
Bronze/Falling (into the) Darkness
I can't build genuine relationships
Not even friendships
I don't care about people at all. Except for my family.
I would die for them. But those who want to be friends, all they'll get is hurt at one point. Because of my indifference and avoidance.
But I just don't want to hurt someone and then live with even more guilt than I already do.
My 666th comment
I'm scared of the future. I'm supposed to have a job soon. Live actual life. I can't live actual life. I straight up find it unbearable. If I could make enough money by selling my music or doing commissions, I'd live in heaven. I'd work my ass off and be moderately happy about it. But that's just a beautiful illusion.
Stupid family
Screw these disfunctional idiots.
I like how those who will never be in any deep shit open their mouths and criticise you for expressing deep pain or feelings in general. Like you DON'T know what actual shame, pain, depression or grief is. You're not even self-conscious enough to ever experience this shit, you don't have the brains to think about the big picture and you've never learnt to look inward in any way shape or form.
sybau
I will not console you if you come crawling to me later.
are you okay... genuinly?
Never had a normal childhood. I wish I did.
Too fucking late now.
I'm an adult. Everything I could've had back then was ripped from me. All the important experiences I could've gained replaced for survival.
I'm done surviving. I don't want to settle anymore, I don't want to long. But it's gone, it's over...
Nevermind
It's still hell
Even on a good day.
Wonder if there's a world where I'm doing fine. Where I don't have to fear that I won't get to my 30s. Where my heart's healthy and open for relationships. Where I think less and do more. Where I'm certain of who I am and about what I want to do. Where I can let go of things in a heartbeat. Where I don't need constant stimulation. Where I didn't get addicted and where my brain works fine.
This isn't fair, but it never was to anyone.
I am so stupid :(