And all at once, the entity that was my soul was awoken. A light burst from the ground, illuminating all that surrounded it. Images of Alex flashed across my eyes, as I drew in my first breath. I was born again.
I wasted no time. Knowing that Alex's affections matched mine, I made haste in tracking his cell phone. His address was hundreds of miles away, but distance is no obstacle for love. I packed my car with as many boxes of cereal and condoms I could fit, and began my long journey to meet my soul mate.
Past midnight, I arrived at his abode. I peered through the window at my idol, and saw him sitting there, gloriously at his computer. i masturbated furiously for a few hours, and finally gathered the courage to sneak into his house. I crept around back, and lifted an unlocked window to grant myself entrance into his home. I stumbled around until I found his room, and silently crawled under his bed.