I'm sure you won't be a failure, overthinking and being apologetic is just a process,
every person who wants to remain faithful to their dreams goes down that path and everyone finds a unique solution, which for me is a series of choices, which are not dictated by the norm, by what must be done or said, but by what it is right for you. You have the music and your talent, no one can take it away from you.
overthinking and being overapologetic are the very two things i deal with everyday. that stuff sucks, especially when you're overthinking/overly apologizing over minimal things that has no ill affect whatsoever. to anyone else out there who deals with such a stuff; just remember to not overlook things- cause overreacting from said thinking and apologizing will always make things worse for you.
I deal with that almost daily too. Feeds anxiety and anxiety feeds rumination back. It has gone a bit worse ever since I concerned myself with it. At those situations I want to do something with my life but cant. I cant even make music at those points. Im not even sure where the origins of my worries lie, but they are there, almost always. I dont even think of myself badly or anything, but theres always ambient fear of, I dont even know.
I mean I may not be the greatest. Nobody really is. Being the greatest at something is just an opinion by everybody around you. There has never been a time where everybody in the world enjoyed the same exact thing. There is no greatest. There is just majority, y'know?