I dont think I will ever work on this further. Might have been the lowest point when I made this. But I know that it wasnt rock bottom yet. That will still come.
it is still there when I cradle myself again, shaking and feeling hopeless, becoming a ball as my fight/flight goes crazy. And feeling so overwhelmed. Its part of me. If I wasnt this weak...
I dont want to terrify anybody, nor am I trying to justify self harm or anything, but here is something my brain told me during one night: "This is an endless fall, the void does not have a bottom. The fall from a bridge has a bottom, an end." Its never been an option for me, I have never taken it as one, but things sometimes just feel so hopeless and empty.