"i don't know when i'll be back. but i'm not leaving. like i said, you're all my world."

A couple years ago, I operated an account known mostly as cancer. I was a kid with aspirations. I wanted to hone my talents, but depression hit and I stopped taking everything seriously, hence the username cancer. I had given up on everything, and the day that I made that song, that included life.

Most of you don't know this, but I was in an abusive relationship. I was manipulated and controlled and cheated on repeatedly and I didn't care because he told me he was all I would ever have. I finally broke free from him. That was when depression grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me down. I made my room into a dungeon. I made my mind into a steel trap. I made my life into a prison. And when all that felt like it wasn't enough, I made my shoelaces into a noose and hung myself in my bedroom.

Those two minutes felt like hours. The noose slipped, I fell to the floor and I failed again. I tried slitting my wrists, overdosing, jumping in front of a tractor trailer, and I always walked away with minor injuries.

I met a girl at school and she helped fill the void. She brightened my day, even if she was autistic, because she was my everything. Later she came out to me as a lesbian. I wasn't shocked, just annoyed that the illusion didn't last any longer.

I finally met a guy at a mental hospital. There was no longer a void. There was no longer a hunger for attention. There was just Logan. I can finally love myself and someone else at the same time.

Moral of the story? Depression's a bitch, but don't let it make you who you are. Don't be driven by a need for attention, be driven by a need for fulfillment. Make yourself write that story, produce that track, sculpt that statue of Danny DeVito, whatever, just create something so you can't destroy yourself. The best art comes from pain, like this track right here.