Wow, this is a really unique sound. I love the percussiveness of some of your percussion. Often, people either overplay or underplay their percussion, but you got it just right. Your synth work is also really good and integrates well with the track. I guess the only thing that is worth even checking out changing is the structure of the song? You might consider the overall construction of the song and look at where you want its high and low points to be. The ending is also meh.