From a young age, I've always been fixated on appearance when I'm around others. It isn't because I care about what they think necessarily, but because I want to represent myself accurately to the people I meet; from there, they can think what they want. And it's not a matter of getting them to like me either, just getting them to understand who I am. Unfortunately, despite this awareness and my lax standerds, their is nary a social setting I have participated in where I do not fail myself; perhaps I talked for too long about something no one cared about, or proposed an argument that my poor memory of talking points failed to defend. I don't take these miscommunications very well, so I usually keep silent to avoid them happening. The sence of utter defeat and regection is an almost unbarable one for me. In this awkward and humiliating state, I can only remind myself of everyone's inevitable insignificance, regain and remember my reasons, and try to do better next time.